| | This year has not been what I was hoping. I know...it's my first year teaching, I have a rough crowd (even though it is only 13 of them), and I came back from studying all summer only three days before school started and haven't had a break since. What else was I expecting? Even so, I hoped. I always hope...I'm what you might call an optimist. "It won't be too bad," I thought. "I've taught them for two years now, I know what I'm getting into." Optimists lead a sad life of disappointment. Most kids figure out routines and expectations after a few weeks in the classroom. Mine took the first quarter. Generally, once they figure things out, they need some daily and weekly reminders, but otherwise do pretty well. Ha! I have spent the semester feeling exhausted (kindergarten attention spans in third grade wears me out), discouraged, and under-qualified. Add to all of that the fact that I finally feel like I have a real direction in my life that is not teaching, but working in linguistics with Wycliffe Bible Translators, and it has made it hard for me to want to be at work every day. It's a good thing that I know I am exactly where God wants me.
I believe that even the in-between jobs of life can be put into our paths by God. He opened the doors for me at this school, and he has me here for a reason. I think in part it is because there are things I can do and am doing in the lives of these kids. More than that, I think he is training me for something. So many of the jobs I have done up to this point seem to have perfectly prepared me for the job I hope to do with Wycliffe. This job too, must have some part to play. And whether I am always happy in my job or not, I have an obligation to do my best without complaining. I owe it to my employers, students, and their parents, but mostly I owe it to God. He asks that we cheerfully give our best in every circumstance, and I need to remember that next semester. This break is good for me. I am getting rest. Next week, I'll head to school a couple of days and get things organized there, maybe more organized than I've been all year. But mostly, I'm getting perspective. This isn't about me, and whether I am happy. It's about obedience to God. It's time for me to obey him fully now so that I won't look back on this year with regret. And who knows, maybe if I change my attitude things might get better in the classroom. But even if it stays the same, I must be obedient.
Rest is good. I am more and more content after spending time with my parents, having time to myself, but most of all, I finally feel that I will make it. I will be OK, and I can end the year better than I started it. That's encouraging.
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| | Posted 12/28/2007 3:59 PM - 74 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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