| | How is it possible to forgive somebody and still be afraid? I have been facing this question over the past week, and it has been difficult. Some people react to betrayal in anger, perhaps I will too. Some people hide and pretend it didn't happen...I couldn't afford that. Some people turn from God, but he is my only hope. So far I truly believe that I have forgiven, but I am still in pain. I cannot think of this person without trembling in some way. I can be alone if I have something to distract me, but I am not working past dark right now. How can I say I trust God, and I do, and still cry at the drop of a hat? I always looked at people who were betrayed and their reactions and pitied them for their lack of strength. "Weaker people can't handle those things; I could if it ever came to it". Let me tell you, I can't. It is only by the grace of God that I get up some mornings. It is only by the grace of God that I have been in church the past few weeks. It is only by the grace of God that I can go to work and be cheered up by the same children I have been struggling with all year.
Please forgive the lack of details here. I am struggling, and I would like my friends to know, but I cannot say more. I am not hurt physically and I am safe. I have only to wait on God's healing. Pray for me.
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| | Posted 1/13/2008 9:50 PM - 96 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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