Ok, for you artists, I'm not referring to the perspective relating to art, though I probably could create a grand analogy and impress you all, but it's only 6:40 in the morning and I don't feel like it. 

I've been looking over my last posts, and there aren't many, and have been seeing how discouraged I've been of late.  This has been a difficult year.  First year teaching is rotten, but I couldn't just do that, so I added on church involvement, and still tried to squeeze as much time with my friends as possible into that schedule.  Not that any of it was bad or wrong, just busy and stressful.  Then January came and the life that had seemed out of control (which I was just starting to get into control) went flying out of my hands.  Something happened that I was sure would change my life forever, and I almost gave up at a few points.  I had only one thing to hold onto, and I grabbed Him as hard as I could.  That's what made the difference.  Do you know that you can't trust people?  I mean, people who love you try to keep loving you, but they will always let you down, and sometimes it is devestating.  I will always remember this year, and I have lost some wonderful friendships because of all this.  On the other hand, I stopped doing some things that were overwhelming me.  I completely relied on God.  I am learning to be a bit less independent ("I need help" is actually part of my vocabulary now...not often, but sometimes).  I'm even learning to love my students and enjoy my last month of teaching!

That brings me to the most exciting change of events.  All my life I have looked at the missionaries around me (there were lots) and wondered about doing that with my own life.  I ran away from it for a while and was afraid to jump into something that might just be the easiest option.  Over the last year, I have seen God guide me into Wycliffe and linguistics in a way that made it obvious this was his plan.  I went to school last summer, I spent all fall and half of the spring semesters working on the application (my, I'm slow), and finally got word yesterday.  I'm now a member of Wycliffe!  I'm so thrilled!  I see now that this is what I've always wanted.  I'll probably end up in Mexico working in editing (a job that will be hard, but oh so much fun) and hope to be there within the year.  Suddenly my struggles seem so small.  I learned lessons that I'll take with me wherever I go, but I have no reason to feel sorry for myself.  God had a plan all along and was faithfully guiding me.  Sure that led into some nasty spots and people might argue that he shouldn't have let me get so hurt, but then again his Son was betrayed and hurt far more than I.  No, God is good, and his love endures forever.  I'll forget how good sometimes and will begin to panic when things get hard, but I'll just have more reasons to trust him when he continues to be faithful.

I'm beginning a new chapter, and it won't be easy, but it'll be full of adventure and I can't wait for it!